The office Christmas Party is tomorrow.

In my very real and usual bah humbug sense of the season I’m not going.

Working remotely has made my life idyllic because I can work without having to commute. I deal with people on the other side of the Atlantic and across the country on a daily basis but I do it all from the comfort of my home. My commute now is a whopping few feet and mere seconds where it was an hour and a half each way for many years.

In the job I had before this, they had said going in there would be the ability to work remotely and there were people in the office who did it regularly but my boss wouldn’t let me. This was a sore spot and there came a time when I was having the roof replaced and he was being a prick about it because the roofers were not following the schedule and I needed to be home for another day. What is ironic is it would only be a year or two later when working remotely was what we HAD to do.

In terms of the Christmas get together? I can think of nothing more unappealing than having to leave the house on a day when the high will be 31° and the low 21° and being outside waiting for a commuter train and schlepping into Manhattan. The trip to Manhattan itself will cost between $20 and $30 bucks and driving is off the table since the party is in a bar.

There’s the other thing that makes it a bit of a non starter… it starts in a bar at 2pm and honestly, though I do drink, I can’t say I’m really much of a day drinker. I don’t see the fun in going into the city and then getting plastered and coming back.

Let’s go even further here though… once I do get drunk, there’s the worry of my mouth doing me in. I can’t say I’m close to a lot of the people who’ll be there and I worry about saying the wrong thing especially given today’s climate. People take offense EASILY nowadays! The majority of the people there? All women and all younger than me. PERISH THE THOUGHT I MAKE A JOKE THAT MIGHT BE TAKEN THE WRONG WAY!

Women today make it impossible for men… men suffer through so much and just buck it up. I see time after time stories about how women are upset about how they got treated at work or how someone spoke to them and I think of all the jobs I had and all the really incredibly abusive bosses I worked for. Men can’t go off and cry over it, they can’t really threaten over harassment. The world doesn’t work that way.

I’m glad to have a job but I don’t need to take a chance like that.

At the end of everything I have a bit of social anxiety or maybe a rather strong streak of it. When I’m comfortable in a situation it’s glorious and I can be myself but often it’s not the case and I’m worried or second guessing everything.

So, these things are just not at all fun for me. You want to send me money? I’ll always take the Christmas gift of some sort but this dynamic of going in and sucking up to people? That’s never been something I wanted to be a part of or enjoyed. So, I just gave me regards and told folks that they would be able to drink more since I wouldn’t be there and they should have fun.

We’ll all be happier, believe me.